Prince In Pieces - Page 8
Prince In Pieces - Page 8
Written by Lee Jolleys
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Page 8 of 10
INT. SEX SHOP - DAY
We are in a sex shop. Dave comes up to the counter with a boxed vibrator in his hand. The shop assistant is LUCAN, 21.
DAVE
Just this please.
LUCAN
(Scans box)
That's 29.99 please.
Dave hands over 30.
LUCAN
Would you like it gift wrapped?
It's no extra charge.
DAVE
May as well. If you'd believe me
that it's for a friend.
LUCAN
Would you like to open a store card
with us? You save 15% on purchases.
DAVE
Nah. 15% is not worth the embarrassment
of havin' to come in here.
EXT. FLAG MARKET - DAY
Katie is sat on her own on a bench. She has a bag from a mobile phone shop with her. Dave enters with the bag from the sex shop in his hand. Katie starts laughing when she sees Dave.
KATIE
I can't believe you got it for me!
Dave tries to give the bag to Katie who shrieks and covers her face with the bag which she has.
DAVE
There you go.
KATIE
Dave, don't!
DAVE
What you freakin' out for?
KATIE
Well, you know?
DAVE
It's in a bag. What you gonna be
like when you get home?
KATIE
Keep your voice down.
DAVE
No-one knows what I've got.
KATIE
Did you get the one I wanted?
DAVE
Yeah.
KATIE
Good idea of mine that, weren't it?
DAVE
You know it cost me 50p
to send a picture message.
KATIE
So?
DAVE
Well, I send you pictures
of five... things.
And you go and choose the
first one in the end.
Pause. Dave and Katie sit watching people walk past going about their daily business. Dave is particular amused by a couple in their early 20's.
The man is short and thin, his girlfriend is tall and fat. The girl has the man is a virtual bear hug whilst the man tries to put his arm round the girls waist but it only reaches half way.
KATIE
How big is it?
DAVE
How big it what?
KATIE
The... thing.
DAVE
Have a look for yourself.
Dave takes the gift wrapped vibrator out of the bag. Katie runs away screaming. Dave stays on the bench laughing.
INT. OLD BULL - EVENING
Neil is sat on his own at the bar reading a newspaper. Dave enters on his own and joins Neil at the bar who is half way through a pint.
DAVE
O reet?
Neil looks up looking totally sober and almost human. Dave looks relieved. Dave scans the bar, CLAIR, 18, is serving another customer.
DAVE
Looks like there's a new barmaid.
What do you think of her?
NEIL
Wouldn't say 'no'.
Clair comes over to serve Dave. She speaks really enthusiastically.
CLAIR
Hiya guys! What can I get you?
DAVE
You know, you can't beat a friendly
face behind the bar.
(to Neil)
What do you think?
NEIL
Aye, if you say so.
CLAIR
Thank you. I'm Clair by the way.
Dave profiles Neil like an antique dealer would do at an auction for a piece of fine China.
DAVE
This is Neil.
Neil re-arranges his jacket again.
DAVE
He lives here every weekend, with
the weekend starting about Wednesday
and finishin' about Tuesday.
NEIL
Don't talk so daft!
(thinks about what Dave said)
Aye well,
may be you're not far wrong.
DAVE
He drinks lager by the pint and
would like two of them.
CLAIR
Pleased to meet you.
NEIL
Are you now? !
DAVE
Real lady killer, ain't he?
Clair goes off to pour the pints looking at Dave through the corner of her eye as she does.
NEIL
Do you have to do that?
DAVE
Hey, if I'm cramping your style
I'll leave you to it.
Dave starts to walk away from the bar.
NEIL
No need for that. I'm out with you,
not anyone else.
Dave comes back to the bar. Clair enters with the two pints.
CLAIR
That's four pounds twenty please guys.
Neil and Dave both give Clair a 10 pound note.
CLAIR
I mean for both. Not each.
We're not in London!
(laughs to herself)
DAVE
We always pay separate.
NEIL
You'll get used t'routine in a bit.
Clair exits to the till.
Pause whilst Neil and Dave both take a sip of their pints and weigh up Clair as she sorts the change out at the till.
Clair returns with the change. She has the two sets of change in each hand. One hand has a five pound note and the other has just pound coins.
Clair
(to Dave)
That's seven pounds ninety change.
(to Neil)
Sorry, don't have
enough five pounds notes.
Neil scowls at Clair. Dave shakes his head at Neil.
DAVE
I think I've got your change mate.
NEIL
I think you have,
she's tryin' to Jew me.
Neil and Dave swap change. Clair stands stirring at Neil's pettiness before going to serve another customer.
DAVE
I think your in there.
Or are you savin' yourself for Katie?
NEIL
I couldn't care less what she gets
up to tonight.
DAVE
I think you could mate.
Neil takes a sip from his new pint and pours the remains of his old pint into it.
NEIL
There's half a swig left in that.
Saves wasting it.
Dave shakes his head smiling at Neil.
NEIL
At least you're on time tonight.
What bus did you catch?
DAVE
Why'd you ask that?
NEIL
Where'd you take in last night?
DAVE
Who've you been talkin' too?
NEIL
No-one. I've been at work all day.
I've had a fair day.
DAVE
Well, it's Saturday tomorrow.
Day of rest.
NEIL
More like day of ale.
I felt rough this mornin'.
I must have had a bad
pint last night.
DAVE
(looks away guiltily)
NEIL
It was one minute to eight
before I clocked on this morning.
DAVE
That's some nice timing there.
NEIL
No matter how rough I am I won't
duck work 'cause of ale.
DAVE
Well, proper men don't.
NEIL
I thought that I'd be the
last to clock on but then
I heard Warren stumbling
down the corridor.
You know Warren, don't you?
DAVE
Pisshead who talks to himself?
NEIL
Aye, that's him!
He clocked on two minutes
late this morning and he
was away as soon as that
clocked ticked over to five.
DAVE
My lecture got cancelled so
I had a free day.
Neil scowls silently at Dave as he doesn't approve of him being at uni.
NEIL
I'd better just make water while you
keep an eye on that barmaid for me.
Neil exits. Dave looks down the bar at Clair who smiles at him.