Prince In Pieces - Page 7
Prince In Pieces - Page 7
Written by Lee Jolleys
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Page 7 of 10
INT. BLOWING WILD - EVENING - FLASHBACK
We are in Blowing Wild again. Georgie is drunk and stood on a table with a Harry Enfield style Scouser curly wig and mushtash doing the 'calm down, calm down' actions.
Around the table are four other lesbian girls' aged 18 -21 including Holly who are laughing hysterically at Georgie. Georgie sings the following song to the tune of 'You Are My Sunshine'.
GEORGIE
'I am a Scouser'
'An ugly Scouser'
'I'm only happy on giro day.'
'My mums out stealing'
'My dads drug dealing'
'And I will take your'
'Hub cabs away.'
We cut to the Drag Queen who is DJing again who speaks over the P.A.
DRAG QUEEN
Don't steal 'em tonight love,
I'm hopin' to drive up to Blackpool
in a bit to pick up a rent boy.
END FLASHBACK.
INT. BLOWING WILD - EVENING
Everyone is in the same position as before.
DAVE
(to Katie)
You got any antidotes to beat that?
KATIE
I've not had enough life
experience, still being 17.
The other all look at Katie shocked.
HOLLY
It's okay, I'll still serve you
if I see you in the Old Bull.
(to Dave)
I won't serve you though!
GEORGIE
Good! He needs to get a life and
get away from all the losers who are
draggin' him down in there.
HOLLY
Oh, you're that pissheads with the
jackets mate. God he's sad.
KATIE
That's Dave's best mate
you're talkin' about.
GEORGIE
This is Katie. She had a bit of a
thing with a certain pisshead.
KATIE
I was on the rebound!
HOLLY
If you want my advise.
GEORGIE
Changed my life this advise.
HOLLY
Don't let it get to you, pierce your
clitoris and buy a vibrator.
GEORGIE
You'll have the best orgasm
you've ever had.
KATIE
Um... I don't know.
HOLLY
Don't worry, I'm not tryin'
to convert you.
GEORGIE
But what a conversion it would be.
Katie laugh's nervously. Dave is starting to relax now.
Pause whilst everyone takes a sip of their drinks and listens to the Drag Queen who is doing his own spoof of the Fugees song 'Killing Me Softly'.
DRAG QUEEN
(Sings beautifully)
'Strumming her bean with her finger.'
'One time.'
'Flicking it faster and faster.'
'Two time.'
'Goin' in deeper and deeper.'
We see a male, DALE, 21, go into the male toilets.
DAVE
I never knew that he was one.
The Drag Queen continues to sing the song in the back ground.
GEORGIE
One what?
DAVE
That lad who just went
into the toilets then.
KATIE
My friend Gemma fancies him.
DAVE
I'm sure he had a girlfriend
when we were at school.
HOLLY
Are you tryin' to say that because
he's in a gay bar you automatically
think that he's gay?
GEORGIE
You know, he probably thinks
the same thing about you.
DAVE
He can do. We never got on.
We see a woman in her 30's go through the same door to the toilets.
DAVE
Wait a minute, that woman's
just gone in the same bog!
HOLLY
They're polysexual.
DAVE
You mean that woman can see your bits?
GEORIGE
(shakes her head)
It was easier to educate Rita.
HOLLY
They're all cubicles.
GEORGIE
Dave, lesbians aren't Size Queens.
HOLLY
Not all gay bar's have toilets
like that, this ones special.
Dale alights from the toilets. He stops in his tracks when he notices Dave but does not speak to him. Dale goes over to the bar and starts talking to another male in his early 20's.
HOLLY
Well, he certainly remembers you.
DAVE
It's okay for you.
Most of my mates are like Neil.
GEORIGE
Most of us have sense not to
have mates like Neil.
DAVE
I'll have to put up with comments
like 'what bus did you catch
tonight Dave? The other one'!
Followed by raucous laughter.
GEORGIE
Oh, stop bein' so straight!
The girls' laugh at Dave.
INT. TAXI RANK - EVENING
We are in a taxi rank. Already in the taxi rank are Sara and Dean who are sat with nothing to say to each other. Dave and Katie enter the taxi rank laughing and joking.
Sara suddenly takes hold of Dean and starts kissing in him when she sees Dave. Dave does not react and goes and orders a taxi. There is an Asian CABBIE sat in the control room.
DAVE
(to cabbie)
Taxi to Sherwood please.
The cabbie behind the counter just indicates for Dave to sit down by casually flicking his hand. Dave goes and sits down with Katie opposite Sara and Dean who are still kissing.
KATIE
How long's it gonna be?
DAVE
(flicks his hand)
Can you not speak cabbie?
That means 10 minutes.
KATIE
I'll hold you to that.
If it's any longer you can pay for me.
The cabbie behind the counter shouts out.
CABBIE
Taxi for Brookfield.
Sara and Dean stop kissing and stand up. Dean has to crouch attempting to cover his erection.
SARA
Come on lover, time to go home to bed.
Sara gives Dave a sly look as she leave the taxi rank. Dave does not react.
KATIE
Wasn't that your ex?
DAVE
Yup.
KATIE
Was that performance all
because we came in?
DAVE
Probably wanting to see my
jealous face. D'ya like it?
Dave pulls a silly grin.
KATIE
Bit over the top, weren't she?
DAVE
It's been a few months since I've
walked out of a taxi rank with a
stonk on.
KATIE
Dave!
(beat)
Well, I thought he had too!
DAVE
Hmm, I thought you was lookin'.
KATIE
I doubt that he's gonna be offered
to have a plaster cast made of it
to make a vibrator!
DAVE
You never know, they come in all sort
of shape and sizes.
KATIE
Wouldn't know. I don't even have one.
DAVE
Well, what was all that you were
sayin' to Georgie and that Holly?
KATIE
I didn't want to seem naive.
Wouldn't mind one though!
Katie laughs dirtily. Dave looks embarrassed.
DAVE
You know where to get 'em.
KATIE
I can't go in one of them places.
What if somebody sees me?
DAVE
Don't look at me like that.
I ain't gettin' one for you.
Katie puts her head on Dave's shoulder.
KATIE
(childish voice)
Pwetty pwease!
Katie starts rubbing Dave's crotch.