Sheep
Sheep
Written by Helen Burke
Sheep are odd.Sheep are desirous to be told things.
They wait open-mouthed for you to speak to them,
then clank away.
Sheep are always mutton dressed as lamb
and many are forced to join Gambollers Anonymous.
Their favourite games are Snap and Follow My Bleater.
Their favourite film is War of the Wools.
They play music by Ab –baa and Hoofenbach
and many prize an autograph by Placido Merino
worn on the left buttock.
Their favourite cocktail is
a sloe-comfortable-spew-against-the-rocks.
Sheep like to party, (their red eyes are a give-away)
Sheep do a lot of grass.
They make lousy rickshaw drivers
preferring to ride tandem in groups of fur or furteen.
Sheep’s favourite saying is
“One swallow does not a mint sauce make.”
No sheep has ever stood for Parliament
but many sleep there.
Sheep always wear white at night for safety,
and are keen to holiday in Baali or Ramsgate.
Sheep’s favourite words are barnacle or Baa-nard Castle,
but they dislike the word baa-becue – and rarely finish it.