Romance Novels Have A Lot To Answer For
Written by Amy E Cresswell
Because when you meet a bloke in a club and you end upstanding together in the taxi queue, because it’s
cheaper to share and him and his mate live
somewhere near you, you expect it to be
perfect.
And through the beer goggles even his messy
bedsit doesn’t matter that much
so you expect it to be all
falling on his bed and
‘mm’s and ‘aah’s
and hands
and mouths
not ‘Uh, this hardly ever happens, just gimme a sec to sort it’
not ‘Erm, you’re kinda lying on my hair’
or ‘OW, where are you trying to put it?’
‘Sorry, I didn’t know it was there!’
And there’s never the bit afterwards where you
go to the bathroom and
bu mp
into his flatmate who’s half asleep in his tatty grey boxers
and then have to search
on the floor
and
under the bed
among the magazines and old tissues
for your discarded underwear.